Are we all Neurodiverse?
No two people think and communicate the same way, so it could be argued that all relationships are really ‘neurodiverse’! However, the term “neurodiverse couple” is generally used to describe a relationship where there are profound and significant differences in how thinking and communication occur.
ADHD, ASD, OCD and Dyslexia
Often these relationships are associated with neurobiological or neurodevelopmental classifications such as ADHD, ASD and OCD. Learning differences such as dyslexia, and dyspraxia are also examples of neurodiversity. There may be combinations of these classifications present within one or both partners.
Some people find these diagnostic labels to be helpful, even though they come with the caveat of a ‘disorder’. Others prefer a narrative of experiencing neurodiversity, rather than any form of “having’ a diagnostic disorder.
Neurodiverse vs Neurotypical?
Sometimes one partner is referred to as “neurodiverse” and the other partner as “neurotypical. Such binary descriptions can be unhelpful as they often lead to misunderstandings and a dynamic of normal and ‘right” vs abnormal, ‘wrong’ and disordered.
The reality is that many families and couple relationships contain multiple elements of neurodiversity across many family members.
Unique strengths
My approach to neurodiverse couples starts with embracing that a neurodiverse relationship presents unique processing and communication challenges. It’s not about one partner being right and the other being wrong. “Who’s right who’s wrong…who cares!”…The challenge is to understand and appreciate the unique strengths of each partner and then harness those strengths to increase stability and harmony.
Couple therapy for neurodiverse relationships can add new tools and strategies to balance the inherent strengths of the partners and help them better navigate the process of moving from rupture to repair.
I help neurodiverse couples to gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other. In therapy, you will experience a safe environment to explore different perspectives and
learn how to create a more flourishing partnership together.
If you are experiencing the confusion and frustration of a neurodiverse relationship, please make contact and we can discuss your situation in a confidential complimentary consultation.